St. Joseph Regional School

"The two shall become one"

MARRIAGE AND YOUR WEDDING

SAINT JOSEPH CATHOLIC CHURCH

Marriage in the Church is a sacred moment — a Sacrament — the beginning of a lifetime that includes the sharing of love, self-sacrifice, the creation of a new life, continual growth in relationship with each other and with God.

Asking to be married in the Catholic faith presupposes that you are serious in your commitment to love God and your neighbor as Jesus taught us, to live in the community of Catholic faith and practice that faith by regular worship and by living a life that obeys the teaching of Jesus in the Sacred Scriptures.

Marriage Vows, made before God and the Community of Faith, are binding "til death do us part." Divorce does not change a vow made before God and remarriage after divorce is not permitted by the teachings of Jesus as we understand them.

If you share these desires, you should contact one of the priests of our parish and begin your preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage. If you don't share these values with us, perhaps you should contact someone else about a wedding.

1. Marriages normally take place in the Catholic bride's parish church. If the bride is not Catholic, the wedding should take place in the groom's parish. Special permission for other circumstances must be sought from the Bishop and is granted only for serious reasons.

2. Arrangements and setting of date must be made at least nine (9) months in advance. An offering for the church is appropriate – $250.00 is the usual amount for active parishioners. The fee for non-parishioners is $650.00. The fee for bride/groom living outside of the parish whose parents are registered, practicing members of St. Joseph's Church is $400 The fee should be mailed to St. Joseph's Church upon receipt of these directives so that the date may be secured. Out-of-parish couples should also complete all requirements set by the pastor of St. Joseph Church in a separate letter.

3. Both of you must present a recently issued copy of your baptismal certificate issued from the Church of Baptism within the last six months. You obtain this from the church from which you were baptized. In the event you are not baptised, written testimony of that fact must be presented, unless you are Jewish or Moslem.

4. All couples are expected to participate in a pre-marriage preparation program. These are frequently called Pre-cana or Marriage Preparation Sessions and are held in various parishes in the diocese. These talks include topics like human sexuality, communication in marriage, medical aspects of marriage, the Bible and marriage, responsible parenthood, as well as a wide range of practical suggestions.

5. Any priest is welcome to perform the ceremony. If he is from another diocese, he must have a "celebret" from his Bishop. It is highly desirable that he also conduct the rehearsal. Non-Catholic clergy may also participate in the ceremony.

6. Normally, when both parties are actively practicing Catholics, the wedding should take place during a Nuptial Mass. The couple receives Holy Communion and should prepare themselves to do so worthily by going to Confession before their wedding. In all other circumstance, the wedding should occur without a Mass.

7. When the marriage takes place during a Nuptial Mass, the congregation is invited to receive Holy Communion. It has been an inter-faith understanding that Holy Communion be received only by members of the Catholic Church.

8. The marriage license is obtained from the bride's home town in New Jersey and must be given to the priest at the time of the rehearsal, together with the other state papers.

State Regulations

Marriage License

9. Though the State recognizes the age of majority as 18 years old, the church requires that if either or both of you are under 21 years of age, you must arrange for your parents to come to the rectory and sign a letter of parental permission for the marriage, in the presence of the priest.

10. Naturally the ceremony cannot be scheduled for a time that would conflict with previously scheduled parish ceremonies or other weddings already scheduled. A wedding may take place on any day of the week. Wedding cannot begin after 2:00 pm on Saturday due to our Mass schedule – Sunday weddings are not possible.

11. Arranging for music at your wedding is your responsibility. Organ or guitar music is welcome, with or without singing. Discussion of musical selections should be a part of the overall planning of the ceremony with the priest.

12. You must make arrangements with the florist. Fire regulations limit the use of candles.

13. No rice, confetti, bird seed, flower petals or the like is to be thrown on the church property – outside or inside. People slip on these things and get injured. Save it for the reception hall. Also, no runner is permitted in the aisle.

A photographer is welcome, but he/she is never allowed in the sanctuary (altar) during the ceremony, nor should he/she use flash photograph during the ceremony. In order to respect and preserve the sacredness of the ceremony, photography during the ceremony should not occur in the sanctuary. Distant pictures are acceptable. Video is also permitted, in the rear of the church. After the ceremony, the photographer may pose the couple and the wedding party for a few pictures. The sanctuary of the Church is not a picture studio. Picture taking after the ceremony should be limited to fifteen (15) minutes. Bright lights and flash are not permitted during the ceremony.